Why me?

Why does every major happy event in my life have to be dimmed by the drama from a certain family member? The crap that took place around the time of my wedding took more than 2 years to blow over. Now it's all starting up again.

The choices I make or the paths I follow in life have nothing to do with this woman. I don't sit there and conjure up ways to piss her off in my free time. I had already begun planning my wedding when she came into my life. I didn't change my plans because of her entrance into the family. Nor did I plan the growth of my own family based upon anything she did or didn't do.

It is not my fault that the announcement of our first pregnancy was better received than hers because we are married and planned for this event for some time. It is not my fault that I had nearly 2 years to plan the wedding I really wanted and she had 2 months to throw things together for hers. I never meant for her to feel badly about her own choices after seeing the results of mine, but obviously there is some harbored regret and grudge-holding there.

I'm not perfect. I've made plenty of mistakes and followed down paths I never should have gone down. Thankfully, those deviations helped make me a better and stronger person and I was able to get back on the road I want to be on. Some things take longer to correct than others, but overall, I'm happy with where we are in life and where we are going. I thought this woman had also made peace with her choices from the past and was moving towards where she wanted to be. I guess I was wrong. The demons still rage.

I'm sad that things have to be this way. I hope the next 8 months are not overshadowed by her negativity. I hope I don't have to tip-toe around as I did in the past to keep the peace. I hope I can get past these things she's done and forgive her and not let it affect my joy. Of course the first impulse is to respond with the cattiness she dishes out and deserves in return, but so far I am overcoming that primal urge and not responding to her at all.

I hate this. I really do.