Confession time

This might be a bit TMI. Since giving birth, we have not really been using reliable birth control measures. Several things contribute to this such as our TTC past history, reduced frequency and extended breastfeeding delaying the return of my fertility. So we are not TTC, but we know there is a chance that we might get pregnant and have accepted the risk. I know I want another child, and therefore the only thing I'm really risking is that the timing would be less than ideal. That could happen anyways since TTCing could take longer than one would hope, or worse yet, not be successful.

My cycle that started Sunday was longer than the others I've had post-partum at 43 days and I was beginning to wonder, though I believed I had ovulated somewhat later than in those cycles. I decided that if Sunday came and went with no AF that I would buy a test. I woke up Sunday morning with my period though. Honestly, I wasn't quite sure how to feel. While it would be best for us to wait a while longer, so that John would be out of school before a second child arrives, the idea of not riding the TTC rollercoaster again was appealing.

After thinking about the possibility, and then facing reality, I decided that I should make the most of this time until we are ready to committ to TTCing. I have some goals for myself - including weaning Brooklynn, losing weight, cooking more meals at home, drinking less diet soda and getting more physical activity. I could benefit from these things whether TTCing is in my future or not.

As an aside, for the first time in my reproductive life, I bled through to my pants today. This period is much heavier than any I've had before and I guess I wasn't really prepared for that.