Lightning

My very best BFF came over last night with her 3 year-old and two-month old. Both boys are just amazingly adorable of course. Busy B was just that - Busy. She bossed her buddy and poked at the baby. She had not fallen asleep during naptime, and thus was a ticking time bomb. It reminded me of one of my major reasons I don't want her to be an only child - learning the world does not revolve around HER. I had warned Krista about the lack of nap, but she was willing to brave it. We missed eachother and were going to make it work. Fortunately, we made it through our visit without too much damage. Sorry Kris - she just does not listen well when overtired.

Anywho, today I had lunch with 6 of my old work buddies. One of the guys asked, "So when is your second baby going to be on the way?" I just said, "Well, I'm just not very fertile, so whenever lightning strikes twice I guess."

Probably a bit overly dramatic. I know. You can tell me if you think so. It's okay. I'm just having a drama-driven week at the office (putting my Psych. minor to use this week). Nervous little laughter/mutters followed my comment. Don't ask if you don't want to know. I understand people are curious. I'm always curious. I just think people [including myself here] should remember that those kind of questions may have loaded answers. It's not necessarily the kind of thing for light conversation. I'm much more hesitant to ask, and more careful in my wording when I do with questions like this now.

I'm not bitter or angry. Just longing to experience all of that wonder again. I find the disappointment in TTC #2 is different for me than it was the first go-round. I got my feelings hurt more and was much more frustrated back then, now I really just feel sad that BG isn't going to share her world with a sibling just yet.