Missing Moments

I keep saying its not the hours of work that get to me, its the guilt. I feel guilty when I'm at work, because I'm not with B and I feel guilty when I'm not at work this time of year because my co-workers put in much longer hours. I know I shouldn't feel guilty about them working the hours, as they get compensated and I only get compensated for the hours I work which should be "fair." I do though. Maybe if I was more productive at work and showed everyone that I can do this well - all of the time - I wouldn't feel that way. I don't know.

I'm feeling better today. Much better today. Unfortunately my precious Busy B is not. She feels terrible. I feel bad that I'm not there to comfort her all day. Poor girl. I think she threw up from gagging or nausea due to sinus drainage. Her nose is so stuffed up and she coughs (same as I was coughing) like her lungs are going to come out. We're doing all the normal things - lots of fluids, humidifier, tylenol....etc. From what others and I have experienced though, it will likely be 4 - 5 days before she feels any better. She's so sad, and I feel so badly for her.

John went and bought a big girl bed for her today. He did call me and sent me a picture of it on my phone for approval, but its not the same as me being there. I'm just missing moments all over the place today.