The meeting did not go well last week. As a result, it seems that the best thing to do would be for us to move. It really seems as if we have no other choice, if I want to feel safe.
So as we began to plan and prepare for a move, we made a plan to move into a temporary home while we would get our home ready to sell and get it on the market. Now that plan has fallen through. It is not really an option we can pursue anymore for a number of reasons. If we want or need to live somewhere else while getting ready to sell our home and waiting for it to sell, we'd really have to move in with family members.
I feel betrayed. I feel like the ones who are causing this situation are getting more consideration than I am from the one person who can help us. It's not fair. We OWN our home and they just rent and yet it is us who feel like we are being forced out of the home we have lived in for 8 years. It was not easy to buy a house at the age of 21 while still in college. We've made sacrifices to do it, and now is the time that living here should really be paying off for us financially and giving us time to prepare to purchase a larger home a few years down the road when our family grows and needs more space.
Now if we are to live together on our own and make the best financial choices, we have to stay here in this house until we can sell it. It would be hard to get this house ready for sale quickly without living in it most of the next month anyways. Spring is the best time to sell and it would be September at the earliest before we'd have our house on the market. School will have already started and the market to sell a home won't be as good. November - January are not good months to sell a home, not to mention, our baby will be born during that time.
I feel like this situation is hopeless and will force me to spend the weeks and months after our baby's birth living with family and having others see every move we make as brand new parents if I want to feel like we are safe. The home we have and will be paying for, will sit empty, waiting for a buyer. This is NOT FAIR. It sucks! I cannot believe this is happening to me at all, especially at what should be one of the happiest times of our lives.
I don't know what to do. I cannot tell how immediate the danger is, and even if I could, it changes from day to day. We can make little changes while living here to make things safer for me. If we go this route and stay home awhile longer, I will never be home alone. John will be here with me, or I will not be here. We will move his motorcycle to a friend's garage and I'll park in our garage so I can enter/exit the car in the safety of my closed garage. I am already carrying mace with me. We already have a monitored alarm system on our home with a panic button on my key chain. I don't know what we'll be doing. We are both so confused.
As far as Squirt, I think things are okay. I am back down to 9 pounds down though, at 18w5d. The stress is really taking it's toll on me. I am not sleeping well. I am exhausted. I have cried until I cannot cry anymore. I am making myself eat, but my body does not seem to be getting much out of it. This is the time of my life where I should be gaining weight and happily patting my pregnant belly while giving into some pregnancy cravings here and there and it's not happening.
Since we don't know where we are going to be, or how long we'll be there when Squirt comes, we've given up on doing the baby room of our dreams with a Curious George or OSU Buckeye as the general theme. I went to once upon a child to waste some time waiting for my mom on Friday. I bought a 4 piece crib bedding set. It is made by Kidsline, is called "Me and Mama," and is gender neutral. It normally retails for $140 and I picked it up for $35 - brand new and in the original packaging. Its not exactly what we had in mind, but it's very cute and John and I both like it well enough. I like the colors, and let's face it, it was dirt cheap.
I guess I should stop typing now, though I have only brushed the surface of all the emotions racing through my mind.
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2 comments:
This all hurts my heart for you.
Have you tried to get a restraining order? Maybe that would force THEM to have to move since they rent and you own?
I did go to the police and they can't issue a temporary protection order (TPO) because she has not threatened me in person.
I could get an attorney and go to court and petition for a civil protection order (CPO) but the police don't enforce those and anytime they are violated, you just have to call your attorney. There is no guarantee the judge would grant me one either.
What I really want is for her to get the help she needs, even if I have to move in process. I don't want things to be like this forever.
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