Why is it that we women get so defensive and judgemental about pregnancy and child-rearing topics? We've all done it - I'm no exception. It's in our nature I guess, but I am so aggrivated right now about being judged for certain choices I plan on making.
I plan on breastfeeding. I do believe there are very compelling reasons to breastfeed, both health and otherwise. That said, I do realize breastfeeding does not work out for everyone, and that is OKAY. We all have to weigh the pros and cons and make the choices for ourselves, and sometimes we have to use alternative methods when things don't go as we'd planned. That's life. Just because I believe there are great benefits to breastfeeding does not mean that I don't realize that it will likely take some work and dedication on my part to follow through with it, or that some babies have special needs and you can't predict that.
I was asked if I was going to breastfeed today and was surprised at what happened after I answered "yes." I don't need someone telling me that their daughter-in-law chose not to breastfeed because her husband wanted to be involved with feeding the baby and asking me if I'm not worried about that with my husband. Thats a nice sentiment and all, but it's not a good enough reason for ME to not want to breastfeed my baby. (Also since I know if I want to keep breastfeeding, I will have to pump at work, it is nearly certain that at somepoint my DH will be feeding our daughter a bottle anyways.) I got a bit defensive and made some comments about studies showing it reduces the risk of breast cancer for the mom and other health benefits....The conversation continued to go downhill. It seems whether you answer this question breast or bottle, you are bound to get an earful of advice as to why you shouldn't do it.
Oh and the epidural topic. Perhaps I should save that one for another day....Nah - I'm already worked up, may as well continue the rant. Just because I want to labor without an epidural and am planning to do so does not mean that I think anyone who had one is weak. I don't. I don't care if you have one. That is your choice to make - just as planning and preparing to avoid one on my part is my choice. I have my reasons for NOT wanting one, just as you have your reasons for wanting one. I don't need your eye-rolls and saracastic comments about "more power to you" and all that crap.
It's not about power, strength or will. It is about aiming for the birth experience I want (provided health issues don't prevent it). Women gave birth for centuries with no pain relief, so it definitely can be done. It is not an impossibility. If a woman wants pain relief and there isn't medical reason to refuse it, I think she should have it. If a woman wants to birth without medication and there aren't complications preventing that, I think she should be able to. I believe it should be about what the birthing mom and her partner want out of the experience. A woman who wants an epidural should not be seen as weak, but neither should a woman who labors without be viewed as insane for wanting to work through the pain in another manner.
I'll shut up now.
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1 comment:
lol. all too funny.
Breastfeeding ... I breastfed both my girls and they both were being fed bottles of breastmilk by their daddy by 3 weeks old.
Epidurals ... I had 2 natural childbirths. BUT, that was an accident. I went in thinking I didn't want an epidural. I hired a doula because I wanted the baby to be alert when she was born. 10 hours of hard painful labor changed my mind and I cried and finally asked for one. Funny thing is, it didn't work. It didn't work the second time either. If you don't want one, great. But, keep your mind open. If it's more than you can take, you have to let yourself get what you need. I've seen so many women do this and consider themselves failures ~or~ end up with horrible birthing experiences because of the stress they went through with the pain. I know you can do it, I did, but in the end, it wasn't my choice.
Yes, millions of women have gone through childbirth without pain relief, but then again, millions of people had gone through dental work naturally before there was novacaine. I'm not knocking your desire to have a drug-free childbirth. I think it's great! But there has been advances in medicine for a reason, because it ~is~ hard. So, keep an open mind once you actually experience it.
Good luck! My best friend is a MAJOR wuss and she had 2 children naturally too!
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