Say What???

DH met an out of town friend last night for a late dinner. I was exhausted, but I stayed up so that we could BD as the plan was to try and hit EOD from day 17 on until O was reasonably certain on my charts. So he gets home and is tired too and we are talking as we are getting ready for bed. I don't even know how it really came up, but basically he was like "You're the one who wants this."

Say What????? I'M the one who wants this? He started talking about having a baby before I did. His best friend had their first and he began pressuring me about it right then. I'M the one who wants this?

I try to explain to him that I feel if he does not really want this in his heart and isn't committed to going through these efforts with me to get pregnant, then what is the point of trying? I feel like he's changed on me and with no warning. He says he does not care one way or the other - we have a baby or we don't. He actually said "It does not matter to me." WTH??? Not "I'd like to have a baby, but if we can't it will be okay," but rather that it makes no difference to him.

Needless to say we did not BD. It took me a long time to fall asleep because I was angry and then dreams kept me from sleeping well. I laid in bed thinking about our conversation earlier that night where I had told him about a WebMD girl who had charts and ovulation issues similar to mine. Her RE basically told her that likely her eggs were ripening okay but taking too long to release and by the time they did, her uterine lining was not optimal any longer. So he gave her clomid, monitored her with ultrasounds and gave her a trigger shot when her egg looked good and ripe. She conceived that first cycle of treatment with him and is nearly full term now. What came out of DH's mouth after hearing this? "And how much did that all cost?" - Seriously??? This from the man who spends more money than any woman I know. This from they guy who had no qualms paying $2600 for laser vision correction, even when we didn't have it? This from the guy who has an $11,000 motorcycle in the garage and who is taking a bike trip with his friends this spring?

I just don't know what to think. It's like now that it isn't coming easily, he's decided that it doesn't matter to him so he won't get hurt. Or maybe he thinks its "not meant to be" if its not achieved naturally. Well that leaves me in a lurch to bear all of this on my own. Why do it if we both aren't in it 100% together? Why spend all this time, effort and yes, money to get pg if he's not really wanting this anymore? I have something wrong with me - it is not likely that I will get pregnant anytime soon without some help. Why can't he see that?

I cannot believe this. What have I wasted all this time for if this is how he really feels and why has he never said this until now? I asked him this morning what changed and all he said was "Timing." Whatever...