Brooklynn is growing up so fast. She is crossing her ankles now and it’s so cute when she does it. She is also putting her feet in her mouth now and pulling off her socks. She loves her feet and her toy keys. She bangs the keys around in her car seat and whimpers a bit if she drops them and can’t reach them. I took off the pacifier off the end of one of those ribbon clips and put her keys on it so they are now tethered to the seat.
Even though I’ve been worrying about her not getting enough sleep, when she wakes up in the morning, she opens her eyes, sees you and shyly smiles as she ducks her head down towards the mattress. She then stretches her body out just like I do each morning when I wake up. Then she farts just like her dad does each morning. LOL! She is in the best mood in the mornings, so she obviously didn’t get that temperament from me. I love watching her wake up and I love listening to her babble to herself or whoever is in earshot.
As for me, well I’m facing a few frustrations. I’m sure if it is the lack of quality sleep, or the hormones from nursing or what, but I feel like I’m losing my mind some days. I’ve become extremely forgetful. Wednesday I was supposed to meet Brooklynn and my in-laws at my house because they were going to be running errands. I got all the way to their house before realizing I had forgotten that, which cost all of us about 30 minutes of our day. Then yesterday morning I only sent enough milk for one bottle. Somehow I left the other two in my fridge. (Usually I leave 2 bottles at my in-laws for the next day the evening before.) I noticed my error before leaving home and called my FIL and told him he’d need to pull two bottles of frozen milk out of his freezer. It was no big deal, but I forgot just the same. Then yesterday afternoon I spent 10 minutes looking for my umbrella here at work, thinking someone borrowed it and then find it is in my car, where I’d obviously left it earlier in the day. I hope my brain grows back soon!
Another thing is that most of the time I almost feel like a single parent. John has been working a lot of hours and having late and early meetings. He’s also going to school, so on Tuesdays he gets home at 10:30pm and other days he has to make time to study. Brooklynn does not like him to hold her in the evenings and she cries every time, so if she wants to be held, I’m the only one to do it. I’m now doing all of her care at home really – bathing, dressing, diapering, feeding, playing, cuddling, comforting….etc. I also still have to find time to do the household chores like washing my pump parts each day, and keeping up with laundry and dishes. I laid Brooklynn on our bed with him while I went to put clothes in the dryer and she began to cry. He got mad at me because he wanted to sleep and heaven forbid I rob him of 3 minutes of sleep. I really honestly felt like he’d be more help, but his idea of help is picking up dinner on the way home (when for budgeting and health reasons, we should be cooking and eating at home). I’m falling behind on so many things like cleaning and cooking that I feel like I’m failing in being a good mom sometimes.
Pumping is another issue of late. My milk supply had declined to the point where I’m not keeping up some days and just barely keeping up on others. I have about 26 four to six ounce bottles in the freezer, so I have backup, but still. I went out and bought some more fenugreek the other night to see if taking that can help increase my supply again. Pumping when I’m out on audits is really challenging. It is hard to get comfortable when I’m out of my element, plus the time I miss on the job is hard to manage. I’d feel better about it if I was getting more milk out – then it would feel worth the effort. Tuesday I only pumped 10 oz total over 4 pumpings. Thankfully yesterday I was able to pump 13 oz. She takes between 13 and 15 oz each day. I think she’d easily drink more too if it was offered to her. Her growth is fine though, so she must be getting enough. I would just like to pump over 15 oz each day so as not to need backup.
I guess I should stop rambling and start being productive. Thank goodness it is Friday and tomorrow morning we can have a lazy morning enjoying Brooklynn’s company.
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This blog started out focused on my TTC Journey(trying to conceive) with our first child. We succeeded and I blogged my way through pregnancy and I've been blogging about motherhood and life in general since then. I'm sharing my innermost thoughts here along with notes on day to day life. One day I know my written words will mean a lot to me when these days are but a memory. I've come full circle and now I'm back on the TTC rollercoaster again, hoping for a second baby someday soon.
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- Krista
- I'm just your average 33 year old married chick. My husband and I were married 13+ years ago and we have an amazing daughter, Brooklynn, who was born in December 2006. I work full time outside the home, but I love spending time with my friends and family more than anything. We have 3 dachshunds a rabbit and some fish in our little family. I'm also a research nerd and read way more non-fiction than can possibly be healthy in my quests for new information.
2 comments:
ahhh.
I think almost every woman thinks the husband will help more than what he ends up doing. For me, it was a matter of him never "just doing" anything - he was always waiting for me to tell him to do something. But me, not wanting to nag, took to being a martyr and did it all, growing ever more resentful about it until finally, I had to do something. It took some training, but he realized how I didn't just want him to help more, but I NEEDED him to help more. I can honestly say he did 30% of the parenting by the time Ella was a year old and we were 50/50 (and have been) once I was off maternity leave with Allison.
I guess what I am trying to say is that you are going through something that is very normal. Throughout pregnancy, we talk and daydream about how wonderful parents we'll be and what a wonderful dad our husbands will be to our children, but in the end, Fatherhood usually takes some hard core training and it can be quite a struggle. Although "some" women tell me their husbands have always helped, well, all I can say is I appreciate my husband so much more now, because I saw the time he put into learning how to help. If that makes sense.
I'm glad to see your little Brooklynn is doing so well! The pictures of late have been amazing.
Oh - and in closing, "mommy-brain" doesn't go away. We lose it permanantly. Sucks, eh? ;)
Krista! Glad you posted, chickie! I come and stalk you sometimes, but this time was a winner with a new post - and how! YAY on the bargains at the Evenflo place. That sounds great!
I've had you on the brain lately as I've been picking up 107.7 on the radio down here, it's pretty good, but we can't get it every day. I keep thinking, I wonder if Krista listens to that? LOL
Brooklynn is just adorable and getting cuter all the time, seems like!
I'm sorry that hubby doesn't seem to be helping enough. I'm sure that's frustrating. I can see Scott being like that too, especially if he thought he might "break her". LOL
Hugs and hang in there - you're doing GREAT!
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